When You Don’t Like the People You Have to Work With

Let’s be honest: not every group you’re a part of, whether it’s a professional project, a volunteer committee, or even a circle of friends, will be filled with people you like. Sometimes, it’s worse than that. Sometimes you know someone has gossiped about you, rolled their eyes, or been flat-out rude. And yet, here you are, sitting across from them at the table, expected to collaborate.

So what do you do?

The Temptation of “Fake”

Some people choose the route of smiling through clenched teeth, putting on their best “everything’s fine” face, and pretending. It looks smooth on the outside, but inside it feels fake, heavy, and often leaves you questioning yourself. Who am I serving by pretending? Them or me?

Here’s the truth: when you play that game too long, it chips away at your authenticity. Being polite is one thing; being performative is another.

The Power of Boundaries

For me, I’ve learned that boundaries are my strongest shield. I don’t need to fight or gossip back; I need to control what access people have to my energy. That means being civil, professional, and kind, but not available for every conversation, every happy hour, or every piece of drama. Boundaries say, “I see you, but I’m not letting you rent space in my head.”

Approaching the Gossipers

If the gossip is eating at you, address it, calmly, privately, and directly. Something as simple as, “I heard this came up, and I want to clear the air,” puts the truth on the table. Nine times out of ten, people squirm when confronted with their own behavior. If they deny it? You’ve still made it clear you won’t play in the shadows.

What “Making It Seem Easy” Really Means

Some of us pride ourselves on making difficult situations look effortless. But here’s the real question: is that strength, or is it silence? If you’re always the one smoothing things over, making peace, keeping it light, are you protecting yourself, or are you enabling bad behavior?

Only you can answer that.

My Choice

Personally, I choose honesty with grace. I can work alongside someone I don’t like without pretending we’re best friends. I can nod politely, contribute my part, and still walk away knowing I didn’t betray myself by faking a connection that doesn’t exist.

At the end of the day, it’s not about whether they like me, it’s about whether I can look in the mirror and still like myself.

A Question for You

So here’s what I’ll leave you with: the next time you’re sitting at that table with someone who has wronged you, ask yourself, am I being true to me, or am I playing a role just to keep the peace?

Because the answer says more about you than it ever will about them.