Permission Granted: Rest, Heal, Breathe

There’s this unspoken rule most women live by: if you’re not running yourself ragged, are you even trying? Somewhere between the carpool line, the emails at midnight, the folding of laundry, the fixing of dinner, the checking in on everyone else’s needs , we decided exhaustion was a badge of honor.

But here’s the truth: exhaustion is not glamorous. It’s not noble. It’s not proof that you’re doing life “right.” It’s proof that you’ve been taught to forget yourself.

I spent years convincing myself that I could only rest once every box was checked, once every crisis was solved, once every person in my life was good and safe and happy. Rest was the prize at the end of the marathon, except the finish line never came.

What I’ve learned, painfully and beautifully, is this: rest is not a reward. Rest is survival.

Why Women Feel Guilty for Resting

Let’s be honest. We’ve been trained to believe that slowing down is lazy. We attach words like “selfish” or “unproductive” to the act of doing nothing. And yet, if you watch a man take a nap on the couch after work, it’s perfectly acceptable. No judgment, no guilt, no internal spiral of shame.

Women? We’re different. We nap and immediately wake up apologizing for it. “Sorry, I was just lying down for a second…” As if we’ve committed a crime against humanity.

But here’s the kicker: when we don’t rest, we unravel. Our bodies shut down. Our creativity dries up. Our patience vanishes. And then we wonder why we snap at the people we love or why joy feels so out of reach.

Rest as a Radical Act

Here’s what I want you to try on today: rest is radical. It’s saying to the world, “I matter enough to pause.” It’s reclaiming a power you’ve been told to give away.

Rest doesn’t always mean a spa weekend in Napa (though, let’s be honest, I wouldn’t turn one down). Sometimes it’s a ten-minute walk without your phone. Sometimes it’s locking the bathroom door and running the bath even when the dishes are still in the sink. Sometimes it’s choosing sleep over one more episode on Netflix.

Rest isn’t glamorous, but it is life-saving.

What Rest Looks Like in Real Life

For me, rest looked like admitting that my body had limits after cancer. It meant learning that recovery isn’t a race. It meant not apologizing for quiet nights at home while the rest of the world scrolled Instagram in sequins and heels.

For you, rest may look like:

• Saying “no” to an invitation that drains you.

• Canceling the plan you said yes to only because you felt obligated.

• Letting the laundry pile wait another day.

• Choosing to read, breathe, or simply sit still.

Rest is permission. Rest is medicine. Rest is the way we rebuild the kind of strength that doesn’t just carry others, but carries ourselves.

The Takeaway

If no one has ever said this to you before, let me be the first: you are allowed to rest. You are allowed to heal. You are allowed to breathe.

The world won’t fall apart if you stop for a moment. But you might, if you don’t.

So today, grant yourself the permission you’ve been waiting for. Permission to nap. Permission to pause. Permission to take up space without proving a single thing.

Rest is not selfish. Rest is survival. Rest is power.

And maybe, just maybe, rest is the most radical love story we ever write with ourselves.